So after many weeks of depression and self-pity, I finally managed to hook up with some like-minded people who I can hang out and be stupid with. It's been a long time since I've had people like that to be around just because Kate was my only real friend for 5 years and I put off hanging out with others many times to just hang out with her. Oddly enough, all of these new friends are co-workers who I never expected I would ever hang out with. The first week we all hung out was the first time I had ever partied so hard. Over a span of 4 days I only had about 8 hours of sleep and still had to be at work in the morning. It was really strenuous just trying to keep going but for some reason I would always manage a second (third, fourth, and fifth) wind and be able to just keep going. I decided to make a pact with myself, simply because I rarely got to hang out with other people, that I would never turn down an opportunity to hang out with new friends no matter how wrecked I was from the night (or nights) before. Over those 4 days I learned things about my friends that I never expected. I did things that I never thought I would do or even want to do. I hung out with people that I would otherwise ignore, avoid, or call the police on and actually got to know them and like them. I'm beginning to learn what it's like to be a normal 24-year-old guy. One great aspect to this crazy transition is that I'm starting to find out that girls may actually somewhat be attracted to me. What a concept, right? However, I am also learning the harsh realities of being male. Let's just say that something happened to me that I'm used to seeing in movies or hearing comedians joke about that I always thought would NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER happen to me. I've been able to be cool and laugh about it now but to put it coarsely, penises get you in trouble.
All embarrassment aside, I'm slowly learning how to be comfortable with myself and I'm trying to be more self-motivated and not have to depend on someone for motivation. I'm getting "out there" and playing the field which is something I was never interested in doing. I'm taking care of my health a little better now by working out and taking multivitamins and going on hikes (I'm sure drinking like a fish and smoking like the caterpillar from Alice and Wonderland are balancing all that out but that's beside the point). I just registered with the regional parks district to go on hikes around the bay area. These are some pictures from the first hike which happened to be at the Albany bulb. I've been to the bulb a few times before so it was a good chance to get my bearings and prepare for a real hike.
I'll be doing more hikes and definitely be doing other things to put myself out there. I'm finally breaking free of my clingy-ness and I'm branching myself out. You've probably seen a lot of "Me, Myself, and I" throughout this post and I'm not one to be selfish usually but right now I'm focusing on making me, myself, and I happy because I've gone too long trying to make other people happy.
